keenchick

Stories and thoughts about family and life

Time marches on

on January 15, 2012

I left my previous work life almost two years ago now (actually, it WILL be two years on February 1, 2012).  It’s amazing when I think about it in such a simple term.  Two years.  24 months.  The time it takes for a toddler to walk well, eat well, and begin potty training.  Of course, if you say “two little years” to a new parent they might just slap you silly.  Considering sleep deprivation, stress, anxiety, and a constant barrage of new information, I can certainly understand.  Having one of my own who didn’t see fit to sleep through the night until he was 15 months old, I would say that time was anything but “quick.”  On the other hand, looking at my 10 year old who will turn 11 this week, I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed.  We have several friends who have seniors in high school who would whole-heartedly second that statement.   Who thinks about turning 40 when they turn 20?  However, we all think about turning 60 when we turn 40.  It’s interesting to me how the time progresses us, enhances us, and, yes, ages us.  Things pop that didn’t used to pop, and I made a statement to a relative today that made me sound REALLY old.  I’ve noticed that my wrist (in which I have a touch of something–maybe carpal tunnel–which I’m doing my best to ignore) has grown significantly weaker, and I’ve noticed that I can’t hold things like I used to.  Wow!  Red flags and whistles go off in my head.  We’ve got to do something about this NOW!   I refuse to be 60 and not want to walk anymore (or worse, not be able).  Add to that my ever-increasing waistline and I’m encouraged to head back to the gym.  I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. . .  🙂

Anyway, back to my previous life versus my current life.  I think back to the things which have happened in the past five years:  I’ve completed my degree, I’ve been through life-altering situations in several relationships, I’ve made the difficult decision to move my children to a school I hoped would be better for them (and so far it has been), and I left the place I had called home for 15 years and started my own business.  It’s funny when I think about how only one of those was a planned event.  Lesson?  Life throws a lot of crap at you.  How well you dodge it (or don’t, in my case), makes your next move.  Bigger Lesson?  I’m not sorry for most of it.  I’m sorry for the things that led to it, like the drama we went through with my son and his classes and two terrible teachers which finally forced me into hunting for a new school.  I’m not sorry for the outcome.  The same has been true of my business.  The situation that brought me here was pitiful.  I’m sorry that it happened the way it did, and I’m sorry for the friendships I’m afraid suffered for it.  All in all, however, it’s been one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.  I’ve learned that we could live on less than we were (and, I could have been out of debt FOREVER ago).  I’ve learned that I have a good reputation in my industry and that reputation has been the foundation of my business.  Most importantly, I’ve learned that there are so many things I want to do with my life and that I do have the strength and the knowledge and the future to make that happen.

As 2012 is really getting off to a start, I have a feeling I’m going to learn a few more lessons along the way, and taste the fruit of my labor over the past two years.  It’s been hard, but it’s been fun.  My mentor told me in the beginning that I would struggle with the failures, but that I needed to accept that all the decisions were mine.  I’m still not great at that part, and I take things entirely too seriously, but I have to say that the benefits have FAR outweighed the struggles, and I am not sorry for anything I’ve had to endure.  It’s made me the person I am today, and I’m like her more and more as we go.

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