Stories and thoughts about family and life


on October 22, 2013

I’m 42 years old. I have to deal with a lot of people my age, as well as some older and some younger, as does (I daresay) everyone else in the world. I’m very fortunate to have been blessed with so many good friends over the years–friends I can call in the middle of the night just because I’m scared or upset, friends who would go to the doctor and hold my hand, and friends who just let me vent when the need arises. I can’t believe how supposedly mature adults act.

As I was reminded by one of these dear friends this morning as she threw one of my famous quotes back at me “some people can’t live without drama in their lives.” My other famous quote to her is “people come in and out of your life at different points and for different reasons.” I needed that little reminder from her this morning after enduring some fairly painful situations this week.

As I’m sure we all do, I become engaged and protective when someone near me is hurt. I’m sad to say that a situation which was already hurtful and uncomfortable has grown to epic proportions and had a dramatic outcome on my family. It was likely time for some of these things to happen, as we had been wrestling with some of this “drama” for a while now and growing progressively more tired. I am proud of the position we have tried to take in the past, though, to be a bridge rather than the fire burning the bridge. Unfortunately, that is no longer possible.

I’ve watched people I’ve known for years resort to allegations and then involving people who have no knowledge of the situation to draw judgment. I have seen people whom I expected would still respect each other as people, feeling free to repeat and rephrase things in a completely destructive context, and knowing their children are being impacted by what they say and do. I’m hearing stories of children repeating and enhancing stories based on their parents’ assertions. I’m am shocked by the other adults who have had to engage us in the past few days and request clarification because of the outlandish stories they are hearing. Not because they’re requesting the clarification (I’m actually proud that they have the nerve to ask directly) but because they had to, and I’m amazed at their reaction once they hear the whole story and start asking additional questions.

Nobody is perfect. I don’t expect anyone to be. I expect you to stand up and do right by people and try to right wrongs. It’s very frustrating to walk down a path and realize you should have changed roads three forks back. All I can say about the people doing things and saying things about us is that you have things on your conscience. You know the heart of the person about whom you’re making the remarks, and you are exploiting a situation for your own gain. Congratulations on getting your way. I hope it’s what you wanted, and I hope it continues to satisfy you. I hope that you’re never in the situation where someone breaks down your character, and makes assumptions and accusations about you. I sincerely do.

As for me and mine, we’ll find a new path, and we’ll be just fine without you. And, I’ll go you one better, we’re not slandering you behind your back and involving young people. Those same young, people, by the way who apparently aren’t mature enough to make decisions for themselves in the first place, according to you and your “jury.” How you can trust them with such mature topics and expect them to handle it properly is beyond me. Of course they’re going to emulate you, and repeat what they hear you say. I believe in Karma, and in doing right by people. Even when I don’t believe in you or get along with you, I don’t believe in destroying you in the eyes of people who do. I may not always do everything correctly, but I don’t believe in public humiliation and I don’t believe in ruining someone’s life in someone else’s eyes. It’s a shame you do.

Now, I realize this is cryptic. It’s meant to be. This is more for me to vent and get a few things off my chest. As I said in my very first blog, this is cathartic for me and this is how I process things. Please don’t be offended if I don’t want to discuss the details. As I said in the previous paragraph, I’m not going to stoop to the same level as other people. If you know the situation, you’ll know the story. If you don’t, please don’t worry about it. To our friends who love and support us, thank you.


One response to “Character

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